Friday Appointment

Yeah, we didn't need any transfusions today!!! We were in and out in 2 hours, that is a record. Clays counts are doing awesome and they are taking him off the TPN (iv nutrition) for the weekend. They want to see what he does off of it. I hope he starts eating but we shall see. The nurse also changed his dressing over his line and said it was looking great with no sign of infection. That's right there is no infection, I am crazy anal clean the dressing mom. Clay was mad at me this morning, I'm not sure why he just was, when the nurse was talking to me he kept turning his Ipod up higher and higher and the nurse turned to me and said "It sounds like you are getting I hate my mom music right now". I laughed, yep sure was. He got over it when we went walking through temple square. Who can be mad of have any ill feelings on Temple Square. That place is amazing, I cant believe how much it gets taken for granted. When we lived here we hardly ever when there. If we went to the temple we just went to Jordan River Temple. Even if you are not a member it is such a calm peaceful place and the flowers are stunning. While we were walking there was the cute bride ans groom and she was freezing. I just thought to myself who would have thunk the end of April she would have needed long sleeves or a somthing warmer. I feel bad that she was so clod and her husband was trying his darnedest to keep her warm but it was super cold today. Can you imagine snow on April 29. It was like 90 in Vegas. Amazing the change in climates from here to Vegas. I miss home and the warm sunny skys.

Anyway, so far so good. Happy to be healthy and with my awesome family. I'm headed with my Mom to see the opening night of Sunset Blvd at Pioneer Theatre tonight. Should be fun and it will be nice to spend some one on one time with her. We haven't done that in like 20 years. Love you Mom and Love to all my family.

Love Tab and Clay (mostly Tab, Clay wont put the video game controller down =) )

from 10 to 1

The left is the Cyclosporine, 10. The right is the Tecro, 1.

Today has been an awesome day, which is good because last night sucked. Clay slept from the time we got home from the doctor until I woke him up to take his last dose of Cyclosporine and his night time meds. He had a hard time keeping those down and threw up a bunch. In the end he kept them down and slept through the night.

Today I ran out first thing to our pharmacy down town. First off I love "having" to make the trip to the pharm because it is across the street from the temple. I park in the Joseph Smith Mem Bldg and walk through temple square. That is such a beautiful and uplifting place. I'm taking Clay on Friday to pick up the rest of his scripts that are back ordered. This morning when I came home I ran up stairs to show Clay the new pills. He smiled and was ecstatic to see what he was taking. He has gone from 10 pills to just 1 pill. AS you know from yesterdays post we are changing his anti rejection med. He is having such a rough time with the 10 pills. He was glad to take the med this morning 1 pill that was it. He took it and was done, no nausea, no shaking, no sitting still for 30 minutes so he doesn't throw up none of that. He was so happy. He felt so good he ate lunch and then ate dinner and then had a snack. He ate more today than he has since he was discharged. I hope this keeps up, I really want him to be happy and healthy and not have his life revolve around medication time. I want for him to feel free and not stressed, stressed people do not heal well.

A much better day for sure.

Love to all Tab and Clay

We have been in the dr office for our appt today for so long that our numbers came back. Usually the NP calls in the evening to tell us weather Clay is high or low. Clay's red blood cells are low so we had to stay in clinic for several hours for a transfusion. try from 10am to after 6pm, luckily we came prepared with laptop and a video game.
The docs and I have decided (well the docs decided and I agreed) to change his anti rejection med. He is having a hard time with it. Not hard time as in hives or allergy, he is taking 10 pills just of the Cyclosporin twice a day so he is throwing up alot. I would to if there were that many pills in my belly. The docs want to change the med and see what he does. If the throwing up slows down or stops then he is good and we move forward. If he continues to throw up then they will do a scope to see what is going on in his tummy. They think, and I hope, that the reason he throws up so much is the sheer amount of pills he is taking. The new med is called Techro and it is much more potent and he will start out on 1 pill. Yep, he goes from 10 to 1. He asked to change when he heard that number. I hope and pray that this is what he needs to stop the nausea. He is fine all day until he has to take his meds then he gets sick. So knowing there is only 1 pill to take might make it easier. All we can do is wait and see.
So for now we need to pray for this med to work and his nausea stops. As Clay said in a prayer last week he prays to stop puking.

Love to all,
Tab and Clay

Easter Weekend

Clay and Elder Gifford Nelson meeting again.
The Shurtleff/Parry family at the BYU baseball game.
Tad and Steve. I dotn think I have a pic of just the two of them in like 10 years.
Lily and Jessica. Lily is taller (sorry Jess, had to say it ;)
The high fives after the game. Right before the brawl.

We had so much fun this weekend. Thanks to every one who helped to make this weekend fun and full of events. Friday Cole and Lil spent the night with the cousins so they could go to the Easter Egg hunt in Lehi. Clay was bummed to miss out on that but he gets the risks and knows it is just one Easter Egg hunt. After we picked up the kids who didn't want to leave and headed to the BYU baseball and softball games to watch Tads cousin play. While at the game Uncle Scott was able to meet Elder Gifford Nelson. He is in the Quorum of the Seventy. Here is a back story to our knowledge of Elder Nelson. He spoke at a Stake Conference in Las Vegas last fall right after Clay was diagnosed. Our Stake President Richards asked us if we wanted to meet him and have him share his story with Clay and Clay with him. He is an amazing man with a story of success and pain. He hurt his leg while playing football in the NFL. Elder Nelson gave Clay a blessing and told him the Lord would be watching out for him. K, back to Saturday. Tad recognized him in the stands and after the baseball game Tad and Clay were able to meet Elder Nelson again, they had to remind him of who we were but he remembered and was glad to hear that everything was going well. I think it is amazing how life can throw people together like that, not only once but twice we were able to meet Elder Nelson, we will probably run into him again. That is how life works. Anyway, back to the game. At the end of the game there was a rush of the mound of sorts and the BYU players and New Mexico players got in a fight. I have to say how proud I am of David. He did not rush the mound and start fighting, in fact he was the only, the only, player to stay in the dugout. He was able to show his little brother and cousins how to behave and not fight. Thanks Dave for being a good example to my kids!!!
After the baseball game the girls softball game had started so we watched that game too. Lil had so much fun while the men talked. Then Uncle Randy, our hero, caught a foul ball for Lily. She was so happy she kept telling people "My Uncle Randy caught me a foul ball", thanks Uncle Randy for making Lil's day.

Easter Sunday was so much fun, we had lunch at Tiff and Dave's house. the plan was to have both sides of the fam over but then Alex had strep throat and my Mom woke up Sat and Sun with a sore throat. Easter lunch ended up being my fam, Tiffs fam, and Dave's Uncle Bills fam. The kids had so much fun with the cousins and the dog. After Tad had to get on the road so he could be home before midnight. It is always sad when they leave. I wish they could just move here until July. Yeah right. Nope it is best for everyone to stay put. Cole and Lil went back to school today and I was a bad mom and we did no homework all week. Oh well, they will just have to play make up this week, we had too much fun playing to think about homework:)

It was nice to spend Easter weekend with the family together. It was great to think about the sacrifice Jesus made for us and the love he has shown us thus far. I am grateful for the atonement and the knowledge we have been given. Clay is strong because he has faith. Faith that he is in the Lords hands and he is protected and comforted by the Holy Ghost.

we are at the Dr's waiting for labs so when I get those and we get our next action step I will let you know.

Love to all,
Tab and Clay

Good Times at Clinic

Just had a dr appt and the levels are good for everything but one. We are still waiting for his anti rejection levels to come back. The docs are watching to see how low his level is for the anti rejection. If they are really low again they are going to do one of two things. Option one is change the med to something else or two do a scope to see if there is a graft v host issue. Im not sure what to do if there is a GVH issue. I am hoping his levels are good and we stay on the same path.
He is doing great in all other areas and he is right where he needs to be.
Love to all,
Tab and Clay

Cousins are the BEST. Cole was being funny and kept closing his eyes.

I cant get a decent picture right now. We were flying Lily's birthday kite on Tuesday. Cole and Lil got sun burned. Clay wasn't out long enough to get burned just a little color.

A migraine. Yuck

He has this cute mischievous smile right now. I love seeing it.Boys being boys. Tramp basketball. Even Clay was on the tramp (against my wishes).

I am so sorry I haven't posted in over a week. Keeping up with Clays cleaning schedule and meds is kickn my butt. every day I get to clean clean and more cleaning. The other thing that is rough eight now is the 34 pills a day, yep you read that right 34 pills a day. He takes them over about an hour. 17 pills in the morning and 17 pills at night. He also is taking an additional anti nausea pill before each dose. We are hoping at the doctor appt Friday they are able to lower one of the meds but I don't think that will happen for a couple of weeks.

Let me bring you up to speed....

This week has been great. We have hung around the house and have really made it feel like home. Tad brought the kids up to visit and left them here for Spring Break. Cole and Lil have been great for Clay, even though they fight all the time, they are great morale boosters.

Wednesday we had our first outing. We went to Nick and Heathers (cousins of Tad) they have 4 kids and were all healthy and happy. That wore all the kids out. It was nice to talk to Heather and catch up on the family gossip. Yep, that's right we talked about You. No we didn't we just chatted about how every one is doing and how the kiddlets are. Today, Thursday, we had my cousins Maggie and Amy over. It was alot of fun. Grandma took all but Clay to the re center to go swimming. When they came back everyone went to the park down the street to play softball. As soon as it started blowing all the kids yelled for Clay to put on his mask and they all ran home. I'm glad they were protective of him and watching out for him. He is having a hard time feeling included because there are things he just cant do yet and he gets tired super fast. The kids all saw he was done and they rested with him. I wish I would have taken a couple pics of them together today. Oh well.

This weekend is Easter and it is weird not being in my own home dying eggs and having Easter Egg hunts. We re making the best of it. Sat Tiff and the kids are coming to Grandmas and dying eggs. Grandma says she hasn't done that in like 20 years. This should be fun. Sunday we are headed to Lehi for dinner with Tiff her family, Mom and John, and hopefully Nicki, Steve, Alecia and her family. We have to make sure Alex is healthy by then. We shall see. everything now a days is We shall see.

On the food front, Clay has been eating a little. Baby steps is what we are saying. It was quite an achievement on Tuesday when he sat down with us and grabbed 3 slices of cucumbers. He ate each and every one of them. Then yesterday we made Tune Noodle Casserole for dinner and he ate about a 1/4 of a cup of that. Tonight we had chicken and rice he ate almost a cup. I don't know if you are reading this with inflection but I am ecstatic. I have been doing the happy dance every night. He is still not eating breakfast or lunch, but hey, Ill take dinner. He has been able to keep all of it down as well. Last night we had a hard time but it was his meds that caused the throw up not dinner.

So for those of you who are worried, we are doing GREAT, FANTASTIC, AWESOME!!!

On a side note. Clays friend Tanner is doing good too. He has two friends we are praying for right now. Nathan, He was readmitted earlier this week and we hope he can go home again soon. Also Nelson, He is having his Bone Marrow Transplant either Friday or Monday. Good luck Nelson!!!

Love to all and we miss you all a ton. Thanks for the prayers and the many blessings you have brought to not only Clay and myself but to my whole family.

Loves, Tab, Cole, Clay and Lily

The family is TOGETHER!!!

Tad and the kids arrived really late last night. It was so nice to get to sleep and know that all 5 of us are under the same roof. When we got us this morning Clay was happy to see everyone.

He is doing well today. Still not eating and has no desire to do so. That will come in time but I worry about it. I have been told that is normal and it just takes time. So I wait.

Lily is sitting next top me watching me type and I love love love that she is here.

Update on our friend Tanner who we asked for you to pray for. His last blog post said he was doing much better and they were able to get the fluid off his lungs. Good. It is amazing how good of prayers we have. The power of faith and prayer are an amazing thing. It is what makes miracle happen.

Love to all. Happy Holy Week

Tab

I'm having a hard time getting things to post now we are home. So, if you are one that follows us every day I am sorry. I will try and get things posted as soon as possible.

As of today, we have been home for a little less than 24 hours and are feeling pretty good. Clay has taken his meds and did not throw up this morning. The home health nurse came over last night and low and behold she is a friend to Grandma D. Shocker. She was here until after 1130 catching up with Grandma. Its nice to know that our nurse is good because Grandma worked with her and likes her. Whew, that is a sigh of relief. Anyway, she taught me how to hook up his TPN and take care of it that way. She said it was nice that I know how to change dressing so she doesn't have to come out every three days, she can come just once a week.
Anyway, so far so good. The kids and Tad are headed our way, they should be here tonight sometime. We are excited to spend the weekend with them and celebrate Lily's birthday on Monday.

Love to all,

Tab and Clay

We are HOME!!!

Clay is actually leaving. Thursday April 14, 2011 5:00pm

The nurses and staff all gather and sing Happy Last Chemo to You. He got to ring the I'm outta here bell.

Clay and I. I should have put on make up. Oh well.

We had alot of stuff. This was the final of 3 trips. You collect things over 6 weeks.

We are at grandmas. We were able to leave the hospital today at around 5. Clay is doing phenomenal. His blood counts are moving higher and higher every day. It is nerve racking bringing him home but I have been trained well in the school of nursing and think we will be fine. If not the hospital is a phone call away.

Now we are home I went and picked up his meds from our pharmacy and boy oh boy am I glad we have insurance. He is on 5 meds (12 pills) in the morning and the same in the evening. One medication is 8 pills. This does not count the 4 as needed meds for nausea and the pain med that is as needed also. No wonder he throws up all the time. I would to if they pumped that amount of anything into my system. I'm super proud of Clay for taking all the meds as he needs to. The 8 pills are what is kicking his butt now but he will get better day by day. We have our dr appt on Monday and they will tell us if he goes up or down on that med. He will be on most of those for the 100 days (June 28) but some will taper off as he fells better.

It is nice to be home and sleep in our own beds tonight. Tomorrow we are going to hang out and get acclimated to our new (old) environment.

Thanks to all. We miss you and love each and every one of you. We have a friend we met at the hospital that could use a little help from the big man upstairs. Will you please say a prayer for Tanner tonight. He is having a rough time right now. His cancer counts keep going up not down. He and his family are amazing strong people and will get through this in time. Every little prayer helps and my peeps are the best prayers around.

Love Tab and Clay

Its Official. We Engrafted

Ugh, We have been waiting so patiently for those words to come out of the doctors mouths. The words are as sweet as honey. Today the nurse gave us the prescriptions for when we go home so we can get them filled before leaving. (Primary doesn't take our pharmacy insurance) I took 10 different scripts, you read that right 10. Those are the ones we wont be getting mail order. Those have already been done. Clay will have a total of 13 pills, some are 1 time a day some are as much as every 4 hours. All is doable from the outside of the hospital. We are happy with our stay here but we are so happy to go home. At home there awaits our beds and our own space, and no 4 am vital signs lights coming on in the middle of the night. When I say home I mean V=West Valley home l=not Las Vegas. That happens in June or July. We cant wait for that day also!!! There is a new baby in our lives today. Our best friends had their long awaited baby. Mary was miserable and ready to pop from about 6 months. They welcomed Trevor Garth Ludwig this morning. They may not keep the name Trevor so that may change. Good luck new family member, your brother and sister already love you so much. Good night all, Tab

The outing/picture hunt

See coach he is using some foot work. He was bouncing it off the walls and doors. He dribbled the ball for almost an hour

He refused to use a pink princess soccer ball. He covered it in Coban.

Clay and Nelson. He is a BMT patient. He and Clay write each other.

Some doctor.

Green Stairs

A nurse. My second fav. First is and always be Aunt Erica!!

Day plus 25 otherwise known as 4 days to go!!!!

We went on an outing today outside of the hospital. What a beautiful day to go outside for the first time in 5 weeks. I think it was the best way to spend our 5 week anniversary here.

Clays counts jumped so high today. he went from 300 to 800 ANC. The docs are for sure he will stay here and he can go home Thursday. You heard that right Thursday. YooWoo Yippee Hallelujah. The power of prayer is an amazing thing. There were alot of peeps saying prayers either in front of their congregation or privately. Thank you to all of you, you are the reason Clay is doing so well.

Our walk today was so much fun. The Child Life person sent Clay on a scavenger hunt with a camera. The pictures above are from the hunt taken by Clay. He had fun and tomorrow we will head to the grass to play soccer.

Thanks for everything. The count down begins.

Love Tab

One last thing. Good luck Mary and Dean. Have fun havn a baby. I cant wait to meet him!!!!!

800 ANC Going home on Thursday!!!!!

Day + 24

Both sets of grandparents. We love them both so much.

His hair is coming back in pink. Haha. It is the hair of a hat he got. Funny boy.

We are still here. Well of course we are here but now there isn't a date of going home. The nurses still think it will be Wed or Thur but I don't think so. Clays counts were down again. He was at 300ANC. Again 500 is where we want to be. Sucky Sucky Sucky. All the docs and nurses say the same old thing. He is doing great and he is acting like a super star. All Clay and I think is when can we go home. He isn't eating much yet. He says everything tastes like medicine. That should go away soon but we don't know when. Couple of weeks probably.

We had fun today. Grandma Liz and Grandpa John came by for a long visit. Clay and John had fun playing with a sling shot Clay got and Mom and I looked at my old high school friends on Face book. She was impressed with how many I have stayed in contact with. Face book is a glorious thing, glad it was invented and we all have this amazing technology. Grandma Nicki and Granddad stopped by on their way to Farmington. It was nice to see them too. Granddad is the one who brought the sling shot. Yep another weapon for Clay to torture docs and nurses with. They all are good with him and no one ever gets upset at his antics.

Well, we hope for big numbers tomorrow and Tuesday so we can go home soon. Tad and the kids are coming in for the weekend so I hops we are out of here by then. I wanna spend Lily's birthday with her and I cant do that if I am here.

Lots of Love, Tab and Clay

Day +23

Clay's eye is healing so nicely.

This laptop was the best investment. Many hours of entertainment. Aunt Dani sent him an Animal hat. Love her.

We are at day 23. Clay and I are tired of being here. We are starting to get short with each other. But we are still enjoying our time and having fun. We should be out of here Wed or Thur. I am excited because the fam is coming back up for the weekend and it is Lily's birthday. Since we will be home she can be with everyone. I think we might bbq and have fun. Clay will still be under strict germ guidelines so we cant really go anywhere and he will be tired still and not feeling well. Just being together as a family will be enough.

Clays counts went down today. Not to bad just to 400ANC. All it means is that his body is still working and it didn't make as many white blood cells as he needed to. However his platelets went up to 105. Those are some big numbers. Usually kids have a hard time making platelets and have to go to the clinic and have infusions. Clay probably wont have to do that because he is doing great with those numbers. Since his counts went down we are stuck here for a couple more days . The docs say that his counts going down is fairly normal and they are not worried. They think he will be back up Sunday and Monday and out of here mid week. He is taking all but 3 meds in pill form by mouth. He took 8 pills in the morning and 4 pills tonight. When we go home he will be on all of those plus the 3 additional meds for a total of 12 different pills. Some are as much as 4 times a day and a couple are only 1 time a day in the morning. Seems like alot but most of them will tapper off after a couple of weeks. We should go home to Vegas on only 3 pills which he will be on for up to a year. Luckily we have good insurance.

I cant not believe it is snowing, still. It has been snowing since yesterday. I mean I grew up here so I know it snows in April but what a reminder Mother Nature has given me. It even snowed in Vegas, Vegas!! Lily had a game this morning and it was really cold and rainy, they lost by the way, bummer but she handles losses well. Cole had a game and team pictures early afternoon and it started snowing during the pictures. Amazing. Snow in Vegas in April.

Anyway. We started this transplant with a count down to being admitted and now we are counting down when we can go home. Hopefully there are no infections at home and he stays healthy so we don't have to come back.

Love to all, Tab and Clay

500

We hit 500 ANC. Absolute Nutrifil Count. That is our lucky number and this is our lucky day. Woo Hoo.

Day +21 Survived one month

Clay's 11 year old scout troop plus a couple older boys. All but one boy shaved their heads. Thanks for the support fellas.

Blue slushies are what keep Clay fueled.

Elliot the dog came by to visit again. Look at how huge he is.

Irish the nurse. He was trying to make Clay laugh. It worked.

We have survived one whole month in this small little hospital room. In one month we have learned that the pink bucket is kept in bed, that the nurses know the secrets of the trade like the bbg (baby booger sucker), eating is over rated and the room with the best view is not always the best room. We have had lots of peeps come to visit or send us emails and texts. We love seeing our friends and fam. Hopefully we can go home soon.

Clays counts are moving as they should be. He is at 400 ANC and 800 White Blood Cells. His platelets are at 85,000. If you remember he needs to be at 500 ANC for 2 days. We are hoping he will get to 500 tomorrow and the next day. If he does we can be home as early as Wed or Thurs. It is a little nerve racking just thinking about it. I mean don't get me wrong, I am ready for my own bed and be in a more normal environment. But, it is scary to think I will be on my own to care for Clay. What if something goes wrong, what if I hook up his meds wrong. There are so many what ifs. But I know I can do it and I know Clay is doing fabulous or they wouldn't be talking about sending him home.

We have the best tech tonight. Tommy is awesome. He likes to play video games with Clay. Every time we have Tommy as our tech Clay lights up. He is the cool guy on the floor and all the kids want to hang out with him. He especially likes Clay because Clay has the fun video games and can handle the level of play.

Good night to all and be safe in the gross weather we are all having.

Love Tab and Clay

One more picture

Just took this pic. had to post tonight. He is so happy today!!!

Day + 19. Better every day

Grandma Liz, Grandma Nicki and Clay.

Animal Style. This is his favorite character right now

This is the animal he drew from the top picture.

Today was another awesome day. Clay is continuing to do great and shock the nurses and doctors. Today his counts went up again. 600 white blood and 300 ANC (500 is what we are going for). I met a mom today who has a 10 month old in here and she asked me how we are doing, I hate having to tell people how great he is and how Clay has kind of breezed through this. I always worry about making a parent sad or feel like I'm gloating. All Clay wants to eat right now are slushies and gummy worms. So that is what he gets, it is more than most kids eat. Her daughter hasn't eaten in a month. Mine is flying through this with style and grace. For that I am grateful and that by its self drops me to my knees every night with Clay.

Grandma Liz came by to visit after work. She thought she would only be here for an hour or so, ha yeah right, she was here for 4 hours. I told her I would take her home so I could go to Maceys and get blue raspberry Popsicles. Then before we knew it Clay was designing and painting a tile and I couldn't leave. It was actually a lot of fun. Clay drew Animal from a picture he saw and then he and I painted it. He painted and I helped to clean up the lines and make the colors blend. When Mom and I finally left it was raining. I love to watch the rain from the inside of my climate controlled room not the inside of my windshield. But I got back to the hospital safely and back to my happy place, inside.

Anyway, counts are good, spirits are up and better than yesterday and we are one day closer to recovery and leaving. Happy dance.

Loves to all.

Tab

Day + 18

We have been here for 4 weeks as of today. Four weeks is a long time and we still have about 2 weeks left. Awesome, amazing, fantastic news today. Clays counts are on the rise. The magical white blood is at 500 and the ANC (absolute Nutrifil Count) is at 200. The ANC needs to be at 500 to be considered engrafment. That means we are progressing and he is doing great. The docs decided since he hadnt used his PCA, continuous morphine pump, in 3 days they wanted to take it away. The drawback of that is the withdrawls. He has been really tired and grumpy today. He has lived the day hiding in his blanket like a turtle. The syptoms should be gone by morning and hopefully his counts will be even higher than today.

Day +17

Daddy and Clay hangn out.

Clay and Bauer. He loves the dog visits.

Clay and Elliott the dog. Elliott is a Labradoodle. He comes by every Thursday.

This is what big brothers are for. Taking your mind off of feeling like crap.

Sorry I didn't post last night. I was not here. Tad and the kids came up for the weekend and we were able to watch conference as a family in Clays room. Afterwards I took Cole and Lily and went shopping. I usually take the kids the day before their birthday and buy them their birthday outfit as part of their gift from me. This year I wont be home to take Lily out so we went a little early. We went to Sugarhouse and had a blast, lunch and shopping, what more can you ask for. Afterwards I got to drive in the rain storm to and from Lehi for Cortney's birthday party where the kids spent the night.

Today is just as great as yesterday. The family is together again in Clays room watching conference and playing WWE All Stars on the xbox. The fam has to go home today and that makes me sad. Clay on the other hand I think is happy that Lily wont be touching his stuff anymore. They were actually playing basketball today. TOGETHER. We all know that doesn't happen ever. It was nice to see them happy. I am grateful for our family and friends. We had a couple visitors this weekend. Its always nice to see our friends. Bishop and Tanner came by last night on their way to the priesthood session.

Thanks everyone for everything you guys do for our family.

Drive safe Tad and kiddos.

Tab

Day + 15. Much Better Tonight

We are at day plus 15. I am feeling much better tonight. The loss of Kim, the girl, really hit me hard last night. I guess that is something I have never really had to face. But, after a day of thought and a massage from Tiff, I feel better and now we can move forward. Clay did awesome today. He actually was by himself for about 4 hours and he did great. He got board but did well to keep himself entertained. He is spending alot of time sleeping right now. He sleeps until 10 or 11 and then falls back asleep by 2 and is up by about 5 and back asleep by 10ish and is out for the night. The nurses say this is good and just means his body is healing and repairing itself. If that's the case then keep on sleeping. Tad and the kids are on their way up tonight from Vegas. Clay is excited to see Cole. I am excited to see them all. Tonight we had a visit from Jesse and Kim. They are cousins. It was nice to see them. This weekend is conference and I am excited to watch it. Usually there are a hundred things that come up or distract me from watching. This year I am in a room with four walls and that's it. Clay and I can watch and enjoy conference this year. I cant wait. Well, good night all and sweet dreams. Tab